150 Best Marriage Puns and Jokes That Will Tie the Knot With Laughter

Marriage is full of love, commitment—and plenty of laughs. If you’re looking to add some humor to your big day or just want a good chuckle, these 150 marriage puns and jokes are the perfect match. From cheesy to charming, they’ll have everyone smiling down the aisle.

💍 Best Marriage Puns and Jokes That Will Tie the Knot With Laughter 🤵👰

1. “You two are knot messing around!” 🔗💒
2. “Marriage: when dating goes pro!” 🏆💑
3. “She stole his last name… and half his fries!” 🍟💍
4. “He’s the ‘one’—like Wi-Fi, but with better connection!” 📶❤️
5. “Let’s taco ’bout how perfect you two are!” 🌮💘
6. “They’re a matcha made in heaven!” 🍵☁️
7. “Marriage: because finding your socks alone is too hard.” 🧦👫
8. “She finally found her bae-gel!” 🥯💘
9. “Happily ever after… or until the remote is lost!” 📺🔍
10. “They’ve got a pizza each other’s hearts!” 🍕❤️
11. “Soulmates: like peanut butter and jelly.” 🥜🍇
12. “She said ‘I dough’ and they rose to the occasion!” 🍞💍
13. “Love is nacho average feeling!” 🧀❤️
14. “He popped the question, and she popped the champagne!” 🍾🥂
15. “They whisked into marriage!” 🥄💘
16. “Together they brew love stronger than coffee!” ☕💑
17. “He finally meat his match!” 🥩❤️
18. “They’re two peas in a love pod.” 🌱💚
19. “She said yes—now they’re engaged in happiness!” 💍🎉
20. “Marriage: where ‘yes dear’ becomes a lifestyle.” 😂👫
21. “They found the key to each other’s hearts!” 🔑💖
22. “Love is in the air—and so is the cake!” 🍰💞
23. “She’s got him hooked for life!” 🎣💘
24. “They’re sailing into matrimony—knot your average couple!” ⛵💒
25. “Together forever? That’s quite the commit-mint!” 🍬💍

💘 Marriage Puns: The Perfect Match for Humor 🔔💑

1. “He found his Mrs. Right—and she found the remote!” 🎯📺
2. “They’re tied the knot—and it’s a bowline of love!” ⛓️❤️
3. “From swipe right to ‘I do’—true love in the digital age!” 📱💍
4. “He couldn’t resist her charms—she had the ring to prove it!” 💫💍
5. “They sealed the deal—with cake and champagne!” 🍰🍾
6. “Their love is mint to be!” 🌿💘
7. “She said yes, and he lost his Netflix password!” 📽️🔐
8. “Marriage: where you can’t run away without taking the trash out first!” 🗑️💏
9. “Love at first bite—they met at a barbecue!” 🍔🔥
10. “They’re s’more in love every day!” 🔥🍫
11. “She took his name—and his last slice of pizza!” 🍕📛
12. “Together, they’re egg-stra special!” 🥚💖
13. “He’s her butter half!” 🧈💕
14. “Their love story is nacho ordinary!” 🌮❤️
15. “Marriage: when ‘what’s mine is yours’ includes snacks!” 🍿💑
16. “They’re a grape couple!” 🍇💍
17. “He cereal-sly loves her!” 🥣😍
18. “He said, ‘I’m nuts about you!’—and gave her a ring!” 🥜💍
19. “Their love is on a roll—sushi style!” 🍣❤️
20. “Marriage: where the puns never stop and neither does the laundry!” 🧺😂
21. “They’re tea-riffic together!” 🍵💑
22. “He’s her bae-con of hope!” 🥓💘
23. “Love brewed perfectly—just like their coffee!” ☕💕
24. “They’re two peas—and now one pod!” 🌿💞
25. “Their love is un-fork-gettable!” 🍴💖

💒 Wedding Jokes: Tying the Knot with Laughter 🤵👰😂

1. “Why do married people live longer? Because they can’t argue if one of them dies!” ⏳😂
2. “Marriage is just texting each other: ‘Do we need anything from the store?’ forever.” 🛒💬
3. “A wedding is just a party where two people promise to share the remote forever.” 📺💍
4. “They said ‘I do’—now they say ‘Did you?’” 🗣️🔁
5. “Marriage: where every day is a team project… usually involving dishes.” 🍽️🧼
6. “Getting married for love is like buying a plane for the free peanuts.” ✈️🥜
7. “He stole her heart—so she took his last name… and his hoodies!” ❤️👕
8. “They tied the knot… and now they’re tangled in chores!” 🧹🔗
9. “Marriage: when dating is no longer an extreme sport.” 🎢💑
10. “Two become one… especially when trying to share a blanket.” 🛏️❄️
11. “She wanted a fairytale wedding—he just wanted to survive the guest list.” 📜😬
12. “He finally popped the question—and now pops the trash out too!” 🗑️💍
13. “A perfect marriage is just two imperfect people who refuse to stop arguing about directions.” 🧭🚗
14. “Marriage: Where ‘I’m fine’ means ‘You better figure it out yourself.'” 😅💬
15. “Wedding vows: the only time you promise to annoy one person forever.” 😈💘
16. “They said marriage is 50/50… but someone’s always wrong.” ⚖️🙃
17. “Before marriage: holding hands. After marriage: holding grudges.” 🤝😠
18. “He married Miss Right. He didn’t know her first name was ‘Always’.” 👰😅
19. “Love is blind—but marriage is an eye-opener!” 👁️😂
20. “Marriage is like a walk in the park… Jurassic Park.” 🦖🌳
21. “Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.” 🙄💑
22. “They fell in love… and into a joint checking account.” 🏦💘
23. “Wedding cake: the first shared decision that everyone enjoys.” 🍰🎉
24. “Marriage—because someone needs to kill the spiders.” 🕷️🧹
25. “They lived happily ever after—until they built IKEA furniture together.” 🛠️📦

💑 Relationship Puns: Love and Laughter in Equal Measure ❤️😂

1. “You’re my soy-mate!” 🍣💘
2. “We’re mint to be together.” 🌿💑
3. “You make my heart skip a beet.” ❤️🥬
4. “Olive you so much!” 🫒💖
5. “I’m nuts about you!” 🥜😍
6. “You’re my butter half.” 🧈💕
7. “We make a great pear.” 🍐💞
8. “You guac my world!” 🥑🌍
9. “You’re tea-rific!” ☕❤️
10. “You’re my jam!” 🍓🎶
11. “We’re egg-cellent together.” 🥚💘
12. “I’m stuck on you like glue-ten.” 🍞😂
13. “You’re the cheese to my macaroni.” 🧀🍝
14. “Life’s batter with you.” 🧁💑
15. “You’ve got me hooked on love!” 🎣💞
16. “We’re nacho average couple.” 🌮💘
17. “You auto be mine!” 🚗💘
18. “Love you a latte!” ☕😍
19. “I find you purr-fect!” 🐱💖
20. “You’re paws-itively adorable!” 🐾🥰
21. “Let’s stick together like glue.” 🧷❤️
22. “You’re my main squeeze!” 🍋💛
23. “We’ve got a whole llama love.” 🦙💕
24. “You’re the peanut butter to my jelly.” 🥜🍇
25. “You light up my life, watt ever happens.” 💡⚡

🤵‍♂️ Husband Jokes: The Funny Side of Saying “I Do” 😂💍

1. “My husband said he needed more space… so I locked him outside.” 🚪🌌
2. “Behind every great husband is a wife rolling her eyes.” 🙄💑
3. “My husband thinks he’s the boss… cute, right?” 😅👑
4. “Marriage is just texting: ‘Do you know where my stuff is?’” 📱🔍
5. “He said he’d fix it… three years ago!” 🛠️⏳
6. “I asked him to do one thing. He did five… wrong.” 🤷‍♀️📋
7. “My husband and I have a system: I make the lists, he loses them.” 📝🧻
8. “He’s the king of the castle… until the queen walks in.” ♟️👸
9. “Husbands: turning ‘I’ll do it later’ into an Olympic sport.” 🏅⏰
10. “My husband’s cooking is amazing… for the smoke detector.” 🔥🚨
11. “He’s not lazy, he’s on ‘energy-saving mode’.” 🔋💤
12. “Marriage: where ‘helping’ means watching you do it.” 👀🧹
13. “He said he’d vacuum. So he bought a Roomba.” 🤖😂
14. “He calls it multitasking. I call it half-doing everything.” 🧠🌀
15. “Marriage is 90% shouting ‘What?’ from another room.” 📢🏠
16. “My husband asked if we could eat out. I handed him the trash.” 🍽️🗑️
17. “He’s got selective hearing, and he’s great at selecting ‘ignore’.” 🙉🎯
18. “He said he didn’t need directions… we arrived 3 hours late.” 🗺️🕒
19. “He’s not wrong. He’s just not right.” 🧠🤔
20. “He tells dad jokes… and he’s not even a dad.” 🤓👶
21. “His idea of romance? Not asking what’s for dinner.” 🍲😄
22. “My husband thinks folding laundry means moving it to the bed.” 🧺🛏️
23. “He buys tools like we live in a Home Depot catalog.” 🔧🛠️
24. “I married him for better or worse… I didn’t realize it’d be at the same time.” 🔄💍
25. “He’s the man of my dreams—especially when he’s quiet and asleep.” 😴💘

💍 Wife Puns: She’s Got a Way With Words (and a Ring) 👑😂

1. “Wife goals? More like life goals!” 💕🏆
2. “She’s nacho average woman!” 🌮👑
3. “She’s my better half… and my better at everything.” 💅😂
4. “I doughnut know what I’d do without her!” 🍩❤️
5. “She’s got a latte love to give!” ☕💘
6. “You’re the bae in bouquet!” 💐💖
7. “Wife: the boss I didn’t know I needed.” 🧠👠
8. “She’s tea-rific, steeped in sass.” 🍵😎
9. “She’s the queen of the castle—and the remote.” 👸📺
10. “My wife is a pun-believable woman!” 🎯😂
11. “She’s the only reason the house doesn’t fall apart.” 🧼🏠
12. “Wife: like Wi-Fi, but with more power outages and sass.” 📶💥
13. “She’s a souper woman!” 🍲💪
14. “She’s got the keys to my heart… and the car.” 🔑🚗
15. “She’s my ride or chai.” ☕🚗
16. “Wife: the CEO of finding what’s right in front of me.” 🕵️‍♀️📦
17. “My wife is brew-tiful!” 🍺🥰
18. “Wife life: where you learn to say ‘yes dear’ fluently.” 📘💬
19. “She stole my heart—and my hoodie.” 💘👕
20. “She’s the butter to my toast and the sass to my silence.” 🧈🍞
21. “If loving her is wrong, I don’t want to be right!” 💘🚫
22. “She’s got ring power and sass superpowers!” 💍🦸‍♀️
23. “Wife: like a GPS, but louder and always correct.” 🗺️🔊
24. “I told her she was right. She told me to write that down.” ✍️😂
25. “Married her for her smile, stayed for her snacks.” 🍪❤️

🎉 Anniversary Jokes: Celebrating Years of Shared Giggles 💑😂

1. “Happy anniversary! Still legally bound… and mildly confused how we made it.” 🔗🤷‍♂️
2. “We’ve been through thick and thin—mostly thick… thanks, cake!” 🎂💘
3. “Marriage: where ‘anniversary’ means remembering dates… and forgetting where we parked.” 🗓️🚗
4. “Another year, another 365 days of saying ‘What?’ from another room!” 🏠👂
5. “Still in love. Still weird. Still can’t decide on dinner.” ❤️🍕🤔
6. “Happy anniversary! Let’s celebrate not killing each other!” 🔪💞😂
7. “Together this long, and we still pretend to share dessert.” 🍰😅
8. “We’ve made it through anniversaries, Ikea furniture, and thermostat wars.” 🛠️🌡️❤️
9. “I love you more each year… mostly because I’m legally required to now.” 📜💘
10. “We’re aging like fine wine—and forgetting like old cheese.” 🍷🧀
11. “Congrats to us: 1% arguments, 99% ‘What do you want to eat?'” 🍔😂
12. “They say love is blind—clearly, so are we!” 😎💍
13. “Still the one I want to annoy forever!” 💑😜
14. “Every year we stay married is another victory over our joint stubbornness.” 🏆🤨
15. “Who knew ‘I do’ actually meant ‘I’ll deal with your snoring forever’?” 💤🔊
16. “We’re not perfect—but our weirdness matches perfectly!” 🤪❤️
17. “Still can’t believe you said yes… and stuck around!” 💍👀
18. “Happy anniversary! Let’s keep pretending we’re fancy!” 🥂🎩
19. “Our love story: awkward beginnings, epic bloopers, great snacks.” 🎬🍿💞
20. “Thanks for loving me even when I steal the covers.” 🛌🧺
21. “We survived another year—mostly because of takeout and memes.” 📱🍱
22. “Another year, still arguing over thermostat settings like pros!” 🌬️🔥😂
23. “Here’s to love, laughter, and never agreeing on what movie to watch!” 🎥🍿
24. “Happy anniversary! Still crushing it… each other’s nerves.” 😘😤
25. “After all these years, you’re still the one I want to share my fries with.” 🍟💘

💍 Engagement Puns: Popping the Question and the Jokes 🎉😂

1. “She said yes—now that’s what I call a ring leader!” 💍👑
2. “Engaged and hooked for life!” 🎣❤️
3. “We’re a perfect match—and not just because of the ring!” 🔥💘
4. “I asked, she said yes, and now we’re knot kidding!” 🔗😄
5. “Put a ring on it? More like put a bling on it!” ✨💎
6. “Our love story just got a sparkly new chapter!” 📖💖
7. “He popped the question, I popped the champagne!” 🍾🥂
8. “We’re officially engage-mint in love!” 🌿💚
9. “She said yes! I’m now a commit-mint man.” 🍬💍
10. “Can’t wait to tie the knot and knot let go!” ⛓️💕
11. “Engagement: when the bling meets the thing.” 💍🎉
12. “He stole my heart, so I ring the bell on him!” 🔔❤️
13. “Our future is looking pretty bright—and shiny!” 💡💎
14. “We’re two peas in a podium!” 🥇💘
15. “I put a ring on it, now we’re officially paw-some!” 🐾💍
16. “Engagement vibes: 100% sparkle and 0% single.” ✨🚫
17. “He said yes to forever—and I said yes to cake!” 🍰💖
18. “Engaged? More like en-raged… with excitement!” 😍🔥
19. “She’s my better half—and my better bling!” 💎💑
20. “Ready to seal the deal with a kiss and a ring!” 💋💍
21. “He got down on one knee, and I got up with a ring!” 🦵💎
22. “Our love is engage-tastic!” 🎊❤️
23. “I asked, she said yes, and now we’re knot messing around!” 🤵👰
24. “We’re linked for life!” 🔗💞
25. “Engagement season: time to ring in the fun!” 🎉🔔

💕 Newlywed Jokes: The Honeymoon Phase of Humor 😂🏝️

1. “Newlyweds: still figuring out whose turn it is to do the dishes!” 🍽️🤷‍♂️
2. “Honeymoon phase: when ‘Yes dear’ is your new favorite phrase.” 🗣️💍
3. “Just married! Now accepting applications for ‘Who’s in charge?’” 📝🤵👰
4. “Newlyweds: expert level in saying sorry even when you’re right.” 🙇‍♂️🙇‍♀️
5. “The honeymoon phase: when you both pretend to love each other’s cooking.” 🍲😅
6. “They say love is blind, but newlyweds are just sleep-deprived.” 😴❤️
7. “Newlywed rule #1: Never go to bed angry… stay up and argue instead!” 🛏️😡
8. “Honeymoon phase: mastering the art of synchronized snoring.” 💤🎶
9. “Just married! Now begins the great ‘What do you want for dinner?’ debate.” 🍕🍔
10. “Newlyweds: where ‘I do’ means ‘I’ll try’.” 🤞💑
11. “Honeymoon phase: when everything your spouse does is ‘adorable’… for now.” 🥰😂
12. “Two hearts, one bed, and a million ‘who’s stealing the covers’ battles.” 🛏️❄️
13. “Newlywed life: 50% love, 50% figuring out the thermostat.” 🌡️❤️
14. “Honeymoon phase: when you still remember all the pet names.” 🐻💕
15. “They say opposites attract… until the first IKEA furniture assembly.” 🔧🛠️
16. “Newlywed wisdom: smile now, the real test is laundry day.” 🧺😅
17. “Honeymoon phase: where ‘I love you’ means ‘You’re not so bad after all.’” 😍😂
18. “Newlyweds: experts at turning ‘What?’ into ‘Yes, dear.’” 🗣️🙄
19. “The honeymoon phase: lasts until the first burnt toast.” 🍞🔥
20. “Marriage tip #1: Never underestimate the power of ‘Yes, dear.’” ✅💖
21. “Newlywed life: when ‘sleeping in’ means getting up at 8 AM together.” ⏰💑
22. “Honeymoon phase: laughing at all their bad jokes… for now.” 😆😂
23. “They said ‘I do’… and then ‘I don’t know where the spatula is.’” 🍳❓
24. “Newlywed stage: learning to share the bathroom and the Wi-Fi password.” 🚿📶
25. “Honeymoon phase: where every argument ends with a kiss (usually).” 💋❤️

conclusion

Marriage is full of love, fun, and sometimes a little silliness. The best way to celebrate that joy is with laughter. These 150 marriage puns and jokes bring smiles to couples and everyone around them.

From clever wordplay to funny stories, these jokes show the lighter side of tying the knot. They remind us that humor is an important part of any happy marriage. Sharing a laugh can bring couples closer and make special moments even better.